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The Adventures of Pete the Perch


The Adventures of Pete the Perch
With all of the stress that comes from being such a hard worker, Pete decided it was time for a little vacation. Bookmark this page and check back often to see where his adventures take him...

Update (4/3/2006) - Pete's home now but you can still check out the journal and gallery he kept of his trip.

Where has Pete been?

Click to view Google maps of Pete's exploits:

Clinton Community College
Statue of Liberty
Great Pyramids
Sydney Opera House

Pete's Journal

March 27 -  As you all know, thanks to Jon Chew, I swam over to the NIS office. I know the non-gender-based NIS guys are very appreciative to have me around, but I’ve been working really hard lately too you know, so I think it’s time for a well deserved Pete Perch style vacation.

The NIS guys were kind enough to hook me up with a laptop and a camera, so I’ll be keeping you updated with pictures and stories of my trip as I go. I don’t know where my adventures will take me, but rest assured it’ll be a whole lot of fun. I think I’m going around the world…just not exactly sure where yet. Me being a freshwater fish and all, I may head southeast toward the ocean…a fish’s gotta see what a fish’s gotta sea.

Don’t worry; I’ll be back soon, just so long as I don’t get hooked (hah) on all the sights and sounds.

Also, make sure you keep tabs on my trip by visiting ! You’ll be able to see all my pics, keep tabs on a map of where I am, and even drop me a “line”! I’ll even tug back on the line when I’m out baking in the sun J

Perch out!

March 28 - Man, what a horrible drive! So long, and the Northway is so…well…north, I guess. Not much for a fish to see, unless you like mountains, but that really isn’t my kind of scenery, you know? And then, when I got here, the traffic downtown is just snout-to-tail, if you know what I mean. But the people are so nice and forgiving of my bad fish driving…they’re all honking and waving at me (I think they were trying to encourage me). One guy even indicated that I was "number one." I tried to do it back, but just couldn’t get it right with my fin. Oh well. A little while later, I asked a guy what it was, and he told me it was the NYS bird, which is cool because even though I'm on vacation I still get to learn new things.

I visited the Statue of Liberty today. The ferry lines were long so I decided just to swim over to Liberty Island. That was a mistake. When I got out I felt a little...sticky. Inside the monument there were a lot of stairs, which posed a unique challenge. Luckily, I was able to convince the guy in charge that I was part salmon, so he let me use the Fish Elevator (it's in the back near the left heel). I'm glad he did, I don't think I could have "scaled" all those stairs myself.

I decided to see a show tonight so I asked around for suggestions. One guy said that "Cats" was a really good choice, but just standing outside the theater gave me the creeps. I went a few blocks down the street and found a much more suitable alternative. Apparently, it's part of something called Off-Off-Off-Off-Broadway. That must mean it's extra good.

Perch Out!

Hey everyone, my vacation is more than halfway through, so I thought you’d like some updates.

I'm having a great time. I took a plane across the Atlantic Ocean late last night (turns out I am a flying fish after all). The security checkpoint at the airport wasn’t nice. They took one look at me and pulled me aside for extra…questioning. I heard one of the security officers say I looked "fishy", which I found to be a little offensive. They asked me if someone had put something in my luggage without me knowing…and I said “um, if they did it without my knowledge, how would I know?” I mean, seriously, you cannot truthfully answer yes to that question. Then they asked me if I had a shoe-bomb! I mean, c’mon, that’s almost as bad as the first question! I don’t even have shoes! Bah, I think they were probably just trolling for bites anyway. I didn’t take the bait though. In the morning, I landed in Egypt.

I saw the Great Pyramids and the Sphinx. At first I didn't want to see the Sphinx because, as far as I knew, it was a kind of cat (CAT + PETE = UNHAPPY PETE). So, I just went to the turns out the Sphinx is right next to the pyramids and it isn't really a cat at all. All that worrying for nothing. Go figure. He is kind of ugly though...the word "michaeljacksonesque" comes to mind.

After that I went to the famous Egyptian Museum in Cairo where Tutankhamen is kept. I spent most of the day there browsing through all the exhibits. Some people stopped near me with a camera so I tried to get out of their way. It turned out that they wanted to take a picture of ME! They said that they had never seen anything as strange as a fish walking through a museum. I was happy to let them take a picture of me, but I wonder why that didn't happen in New York City...

I've been out in the sun all day so I think tonight I'll take a swim in the Nile. And what about after that? No one knows where my current flows, not even me!

Perch out!

G'day mates! Only 1 more day left in my vacation!

I'm taking it easy in Australia today! Put another shrimp on the Barbie! Somehow, that’s a bit cannibalistic for a fish to say, but at least it would save my scaly backside. I have some major R&R scheduled all day, but I decided to take a moment and drop you all a line, so check out my postcard below. The weather is beautiful here! It's not too hot, not too cold, just perfect for lounging around in the sun all day doing nothing, which comes naturally to us fish. As busy as this week has been so far, today is almost like a vacation from my vacation! Ha ha!

I went for a walkabout (again, kinda hard) in the outback earlier today. Saw a kangaroo…he tried to stuff me in his pouch (which is kind of like a livewell I guess, just without the water), but I wasn't really very comfortable with that.

This evening I may take in a show at the Sydney Opera House which is only a few miles from my seaside condo. I hope I get good seats though, because those opera glasses they give you don't fit me very well. Then again, I may just keep chillin' out here on the beach. Oh wait, gotta go, there goes the waiter! "Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt on the margarita!"

Perch Out!

Konnichiwa, O genki desu ka?

Well, today was the last day of my trip and boy was it an eventful one! After my relaxing day yesterday on the sunny beaches of Australia I decided to head North in search of some more adventure. I ended up in the bustling metropolis of Tokyo, Japan. It was early in the morning and I found myself wandering around the Tsukiji Fish Market, which is one of the worlds largest fish markets. I was trying to start up a conversation with one of the shopkeepers so I tried to say: Ohayo gozaimasu. Anata wa eigo o hanashimasu ka? (Good morning. Do you speak English?) But my fish lips don't handle Japanese phraseology very well and it came out more like: Ohayo gozaimasu. Watakushi wa oishii desu. (Good morning. I am delicious.)

I was summarily placed in a cooler without so much as a blanket to curl up in. On top of that someone thought it was funny to pour ice on top of me. The nerve! So, chilly and a little perturbed, I waited inside that basket for what seemed like hours. The next thing I knew I was in the clutches of a very determined sushi chef! I flopped my shivering fish body onto his counter top knocking down racks of prepared sushi, sashimi, nagiri, and one lonely California roll. Luckily for me there was an American there who translated my cries of "Please, please don't eat me!" into something more intelligible: Sumi masen, chotto matte kudasai. (Excuse me, please wait a moment.) With a translator present I was able to explain to the sushi chef that I was not, in fact, part of his daily shipment of fresh tuna, salmon, and eel. It was all a big misunderstanding. After a terse phonecall from the chef to his fishmonger we all had a good laugh over a bottle of warm sake and some fresh sushi and I learned another phrase: Niko mo sakana mo haitte inai ryoori ga arimasu ka? (Do you have any vegetarian dishes?)

So, after the close call, I caught a plane to Burlington, which kinda sucked because I forgot that I left the van in NYC. Bad Pete. Probably isn’t there any longer anyway, or if it is, I’m sure it’s been…scaled down…by now. The flight was OK, but there is like *zero* legroom in the seats, even for me. In the seat next to me, I met a long haired guy named Rain who told me that there was an invite-only Phish reunion concert going on. I know it seems a bit cliche but I'm a big phan, what can I say? So I took him up on his offer to meet the band backstage before the show. We had a great time and right before the show they offered to let me sit in with them. Being family and all, I fit right in. I played the drums in the big FINale. I guess you could say I made fishtory!
After the show, there was this big party backstage. All these people kept asking who had the seaweed…I couldn’t figure that out, but I told them they could find a lot in the ocean. Then they kind of looked at me funny, they said my skin reminded them of being on acid, and I said, yeah, you don’t have to tell me about being on acid rain and all, you know, from living in the water and such. It was going pretty good, until someone freaked out on me when I was at the buffet table. Apparently it is considered bad form to milt the caviar….who knew? I was just going with what I know…
After that, it was pretty much just an uneventful swim across the lake. I don’t like waiting in line and paying for the ferry, besides, I’m not all too keen on that new connector road yet. Anyhoo, it’s good to be home.
Thanks for letting me share my trip with you, I hope you had fun and that I didn’t annoy you too much. Don’t forget to follow those links on the map of my travels, they’ll take you to more pictures of where I’ve been.

-Perch out!

Photo Gallery

Pete's Mailbag

Around the world, OK
Avoid Sea World
- Nancy Scanlun-Rathbun

You may want to stay away from Lake Champlain until after fishing season.
- John Petro

Yeah, I'm taking the Northway for now...water's a bit cold yet too, and I don't have a bathing suit with me.

Hi, Pete! As many know, I'm a passionate cook and "foodie," and I especially love seafood. So I have a question: what wine would you recommend I serve if I have you over for dinner?

Thanks--Chef Gina

Chef Gina,

Ummm...any white wine will complement a seafood dish nicely. I prefer Chardonnay. However, under the circumstances, I don't think that I would feel entirely comfortable...umm..participating in a meal with you unless it is in a public place. No offense...I um, I just don't think it would be in my best interest. Know what I mean?

Yours truly,
Pete the (inedible) Perch

I hope you go to Torino, Italy on your trip. I understand you like to hit the half pipe on your snowboard. Surely you can beat "The Flying Tomato" Shaun White. After all you are a mighty fish, and he is just a squishy fruit/vegatable.
- Catherine Eloranto

I don't know...vegetables can be pretty tough...and since he's squishy, he can do all those nice flexible tricks without hurting himself, where I kinda just flounder around. It's all good though.

I'd like to stop at Torino, but the itinerary is pretty much set and I don't have much time anyway (I'm getting kind of dry). Besides, those Italians like a good fish with their white wines!

Perch out!

THANK YOU for being such an inspiration to all of us. You may be a small fish in a big ocean but you have no fear. You exemplify what we represent here at Clinton Community College, taking that first big step! Look at you traveling all over the world. I am so proud of you! I am going to share your story with my friends and children so they can enjoy the your fun.
-Darcy Purick

Thanks for the encouragement! It's tough being a little fish in a big world. I hope people are enjoying the "tail"s of my exploits.

Perch out!

Your signature "Perch Out" is a lot like Ryan Seacrest who says "Seacrest Out!" ...any copyright infringements??

-John Petro

Yes, he's my inspiration. I have better hair though. RE: copyright infringement, I don't think you can copyright lack of talent, but maybe...judging from today's radio stations.

*ahem* Perch out!

Are you quite FINished?
- Bob Luckett

Almost, Friday is my last day. Would you prefer not to get my emails?

Just the opposite! Keep 'em coming! I just couldn't resist getting involved with the puns! In fact, I'd say you're off to a good start, on a "scale" of one to ten! I'm already "hooked." So throw me a "line" whenever you can, because I've become one of your "groupers" already!
-Bob Luckett

PS: Isn't this a great "school?"

Hey Pete, while you're there, have you seen my stapler? My Swingline stapler?
-Allison Benkwit

You mean the red one? Yeah, I saw it.
-Perch out!

Hey Pete, why is your cancellation postal stamp from Hartford, Conn which appears to be in 1958?
-Mary Hebert

I don’t know. More appropriate to ask the mailman, yes? You know how the mail is…the path it took to get to you probably looks like one of those Family Circus cartoons where Billy has been all over the neighborhood. Besides, do you know how hard it is to find an image of a cancelled postcard from Australia on Google? Sheesh…the life of a fish!
-Perch out! (from down under, not Connecticut, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

Not to make you hungry, but perhaps it's a case of "snail mail." That'll slow down anything. BTW: Shouldn't you be ordering more water instead of Mai Tais?
-Bob Luckett

Well, where I'm from we don't get too many snails, and I'm more of a hunter fish anyway. Still haven't figured out why people put worms on hooks to catch us...they're called earthworms (and not waterworms) for a reason. The dumb fish among us do tend to fall for it though (and the really dumb ones get faked out by the rubber worms even...those things don't even *look* real).

Speaking of fishing, what's up with this catch-and-release crap? What, you don't want to eat us, you just want to make us late for something? Real men eat what they catch.

Also, unlike silly people, I don't order or pay for water, there's enough of it around for free, so that wouldn't be smart. Funny that Evian spelled backwards is naive, no?
-Perch out!

Thought I'd ask, just for the halibut.
-Bob Luckett

Ooh, not bad.  I see the force is strong with you, young minnow.
-Perch out!

Hey Pete, we just got back from Legoland. They had a pond full of lego fish (any relatives of yours?) Next stop...Disneyland! Sure wish you can join us.

-Debra Post

Actually no, but I do have a cousin made out of K-nex. I went to Disneyland once but I got lost in Pirates of the Caribbean. My friends called me "Pete the Patch" for weeks!

-Perch out!